Presenting a ground breaking and "terrifically exciting" 11,000 word article, published on November 3, 2012 in a Sexuology yearbook - on the internationally controversial topic of Massage & Sexuality. "Integral and Transpersonal Sexology; Human sexuality and Intimate Relationships from an Integral, Transpersonal and Somatic Sexological Perspective" Edited by Dr Tara Long.





Massage & Sexuality.

Ideal and Practice, from Sport massage to Sexually-tinted Tantric massage

An Exploration of Taboos in the Border areas of Massage

This is Chapter 6: Tantric Massage, thesis, conclusion

Author: Drs. Kees Kaldenbach. Amsterdam.


On this page you will find the text and links to the full text HTML page divided into 2+6 chapters, without visible footnotes,

Plus a downloadable PDF file of the entire article, complete, with footnotes: Kaldenbach-massage-sexuality.pdf

Table of contents

0a) Abstract and Introduction chapter

0b) Definitions of the following six kinds of massage

1) Sport massage / Swedish massage

2) Medical Massage / Physiotherapy

3) Chinese / Japanese rub massage and pressure point massage

4) Holistic Massage

5) Erotic Massage - and finally

6) Tantric massage ; thesis; conclusions.

For each field I present these sections: Brief descriptions, Best practices, Perceptions, Schematic map.

This is Chapter 6: Tantric massage, thesis, conclusion


6b Best Practices, the masseur's (m / f) point of view to the tantric massage

Talk to one hundred different tantric masseurs and get one hundred different stories about the nature and interpretation of tantra.
One area is the white or blue tantra, that of the cautious type. The five senses and managing energy flows play a major role.
By contrast, the red tantra, the more erotically oriented type. The genitalia can possibly be included in the action.
Practitioners of 'blue' might point an accusing finger to 'red': you are too sexual and that is not intended or not allowed. Supporters of 'red' however, may find 'blue' perhaps too cautious, yin, sort of kids’ play.

Through tantric touches and energy flows a variety of pleasant hormones can be released into the body.

In the Netherlands and South Africa is the profession of tantric massage is not regulated by law, and is openly advertised.
In most states of the USA a tantric masseur will remain in hiding and build a small customer circle to avoid prosecution in connection with prostitution legislation. Visits of undercover cops can be expected.

6c From the perspective of the client in tantric massage

In advance the customer needs to consider what 'color' tantra he or she wants to get into and where the flow of experience should carry oneself. The garden of tantra is deep and wide - and has shady groves, parks, fountains of glory, lots of cool lakes and hot springs where you can enjoy in an extended way. And there will be a couple of chasms that may scare you. Then you walk away, or you decide to test them with heroism.


Definitions (repeated)

In order to ensure that author and readers can broadly understand each other in terminology, a few brief descriptions will follow first.

The term Tantra has its origins in India, and focuses on managing, increasing and enjoying the flow of sexual energy in the body of man and woman. Through courses, books and videos by Ray Stubbs and later on by Baghwan / Osho (1931-1990) his Neo-tantric method has become known in the West and it may include massage.
Tantra and Tantric massage is a deep meeting between therapist and client and is therefore related to holistic massage. At best, there is a deep, lush and moving sense of connection. A commonly used term in Tantra is "desire" (and "desire for desire"). The five senses of man and woman are invited to become more sensitive. There are various types of tantra:

- White tantra, the traditional, more spiritual Indian and Tibetan Tantra with among others, meditation and breathing exercises.
- Blue tantra is more yin, somewhat more physical, but still cautious and reluctant.
- Red Tantra is more yang, can be applied naked. Sometimes it involves touching genitals and female orgasm is permitted. Orgasm of the man can be experienced from within, but ejaculation is not recommended.

A good "energy" between client and Tantra masseuse/masseur is of course always necessary.

Tantric massage is ranked the author as follows:

Fig. 6. Tantric Massage.
X axis: very low for social acceptance
Y axis: low to medium for "garage job"
Z axis: medium to high for transcendence (flight of the soul).


General: “Grund zum Abbruch” / Grounds to break off

For the practitioner in any of the abovementioned six types of massage an undesirable situation can arise when a client initially agrees to certain limits and rules but does not honor these rules. For example regarding the touching by the client to of the masseur’s or masseuse's body during in session, or if the client continues to whine to get certain (sexual) services off the agreed menu.
A client who continues to touch, grab, whine, and keeps making requests against the express wishes of the masseur (m / f) causes stress. In most of the six areas of massage this difficulty is a well known phenomenon. In Germany, one speaks of “Grund zum Abbruch” a crisp way to indicate a reason to abort the session. And sometimes, in desperation, even to break off a career.


Legislation in the Netherlands. The APV (APV= General Police Regulations) states that massage rooms can have doors but should not have locks. The legislation assumes that in massage the genitals are not touched.
Masseurs who do touch genitals are strictly obliged to apply for a brothel license, compliance with this rule varies greatly. It is up to a city or local government to enforce this and implement it. The result of this legislation can be guessed: erotic masseurs (m / f) ignore this law and choose not to sign up. The question is whether a law so far removed from reality is still functioning and whether it should be kept on the books.
Because the doubtful social acceptance of erotic masseurs, even in this very liberal, libertine and open society of Holland is just, just within - or completely over the edge, most erotic masseurs do not want to disclose their name or their work and thus to the outside advertise a different label.

Since 1994 and an industry of escort call girls has sprung up in South Africa who use the label "masseuse". There are ads in newspapers in the category Adult or Massage placed by men and women who present themselves as masseur / masseuse and describing themselves as "well endowed" or "sexy" and other terms in that vein.

In the USA, the tradition and laws vary by state. Prostitution and sex work are strictly prohibited in most states and thus hiding. And thus grows an enticing, forbidden fruit.



Ethical learning moments. Thesis by the author

1a) In sport massage, Swedish massage and therapeutic massage a male masseur must strive be reticent about sexuality. The female masseuse is afforded more leeway - for culturally determined reasons.

1b) In order to protect the patient, medical massages must always work in an a-sexual way.
There could however be cases where a victim of incest or other trouble needs the touch of a masseur or emotional body worker in order to seek healing in body, mind and soul. Intimate contact is in this sense a controversial issue because the client is already damaged. Sometimes a sexual touch can become healing and liberating.


2) In a holistic massage or other relaxation massage a client gradually become in a state of Eros, unwanted and unplanned. The masseur / masseuse must formulate a policy for themselves, how to handle this situation.

3) In a tantric massage or erotic massage is the garden of delights are wide and deep and the mutual agreements made between the client and masseur (m / f). become all determining.

4) If a customer feels and reports that a given masseur (m / f) has "Crossed the Line" there are at least three options:

4a) The masseur has objectively trespassed and is wrong. Theoretically this could be determined if a video recording exists. A subsequent verbal description is possible, but very subjective and difficult to formulate. The allegation can become a matter for the vice squad. The police and the prosecution will probably initially assume the veracity of the claim by the female. One may question whether that reflex is wise.

4b) The practitioner has acted correctly in objective terms, but the client picked up, with inner antennas, unspoken feelings, vibrations and energy, and has translated these in terms of Eros as though the masseur has "gone beyond the pale." The existence of this energetic situation needs to be considered.

4c) During the session the masseur has repeatedly asked the client for specific permission to touch, and has received permissions, but later on, afterwards, the client is shocked by the chosen paths and feels insecure or damaged. This course of events also needs to be considered.


5) Among peers, there is great reluctance to face this issue of massage and sexuality; it remains a taboo area. I would like to argue that this broad topic is opened up for discussion by peers in massage but also sometimes between masseurs (m / f) and clients. So there will be less fear and more relaxation, pleasure, openness and in the end, if so desired, frankness in touch.

A more or less objective description (a) of the six types of massage was relatively simple to formulate.
The Best Practices, or ideals (b) in each of the six areas of massage gave a clear-cut picture. However, experience of masseurs (m / f), particularly on border areas of massage and sexuality, reveal fault lines and areas of overflow, "bleeding" with variations and deviations either allowed or disallowed.
The perception of the client, c) on each of those six areas also gave a view into "bleeding" on border areas between massage and sexuality.
Thus the ideal situation and the practice within a number of massage fields are at times far apart, because the 'maddening' force of Eros sometimes pulls at people strongly. A general conclusion from case studies is that the borderline between massage and sexuality is sometimes not so easy to draw and that massage and the erotic are in some cases inextricably linked.


Fig. 10. Simplified Model of the Massages discussed above graded on a scale and placed together on three axes:

X axis for social acceptance
Y axis "garage job"
Z axis transcendence (flight of the soul)

S = Sport massage / Swedish massage
M = Medical Massage / Physiotherapy
C = Chinese / Japanese rub massage and pressure point massage
H = Holistic Massage
E = Erotic Massage
T = Tantric Massage


Further Descriptions (repeated)


Sexuality - in the context of this article - is the magical and wonderful borderline between the physicality of I and the Other. Broadly speaking, it is understood as the totality of feelings, opinions and experiences related to sexual orientation and self-definition, the individuality and physicality of the man or the woman.
Both in body and mind, sexuality causes an increased and enhanced perception of reality, sometimes a rush and at best, a peak experience in human life.
The positive, pink cloud of terms related to sexuality include: body, skin, pleasure, ecstasy, identity, and beyond – let’s take a broad look – desire, contact, connection, emotions, dreams, desires, sexual drive, conquest of the other, to allow to be conquested, the game of attraction and retreat, excitement, and also to achieve a physical orgasm. Central to Western culture is always freedom of choice and free will at some point in time to enter upon or cease the sexual contact.
By way of contrast: another set of shaded clouds shows the more complicated and thorny fields as in: daring, taboo, monogamy, adultery, jealousy, vulnerability, old pain and new pain, becoming wounded in body and soul. For in sex you become open and therefore vulnerable.
"Sexual" is a term used by us in the West at basic level refers to reproductive drive and gender and perception of one’s own genitals, either male or female, while the term "Eros" indicates the meta-level, the divine and dangerous, bewitching, the maddening insufflation by the mysterious Greek god Eros in women and men.


Intimacy is understood here as any kind of very personal encounter in proximity and in seclusion, with full consent of both parties. Intimacy could include sharing of valuable experiences and highly personal secrets. Caveat: If a woman mentions in a conversation: "I was intimate with my boyfriend last night", then she might mean something else.

The feel-good hormones released in massage include oxytocin (also known as the cuddle hormone and the hormone that enhances bonding between mother and baby), and also other active elements with nice effects such as endorphins, peptides.



37: Interview by author, 2010.

38. Interview by author, 2010.

29. Thornton, op. cit., p. 76.

Literature is very scarce because of the taboo nature and what literature exists is still more about the legal than about the profession of massage.
Syllabi in use for massage training can address this issue, but are not publicly available.
See other sources in the footnotes.


About the Author
Drs. Kees Kaldenbach (1953) lives in Amsterdam and has an education background, and he is currently active as an art historian, tour guide and masseur. Email, Web site


Published November 3, 2012.

The beautiful image with XYZ has been designed with much care and time. It ia available from the author in JPG / Photoshop / GIF for other publications in a blank shape (without letters) - for a fee.

Table of contents

0a) Abstract and Introduction chapter

0b) Definitions of the following six kinds of massage

1) Sport massage / Swedish massage

2) Medical Massage / Physiotherapy

3) Chinese / Japanese rub massage and pressure point massage

4) Holistic Massage

5) Erotic Massage - and finally

6) Tantric massage ; thesis; conclusions.

For each field I present these sections: Brief descriptions, Best practices, Perceptions, Schematic map.


Menu of Special massages

Read client reports

Give a massage gift certificate

This is in English. Click for an Dutch version, Version Française.


Photos: Jeroen Leclercq,




Reaction, questions?

Center for Applied Massage Art - Kees Kaldenbach, Haarlemmermeerstraat 83 hs, 1058 JS Amsterdam (near Surinameplein, ring road exit s106, tram 1 and 17). Telephone 020 669 8119; cell phone 06 - 2868 9775. Open seven days a week.

Masseur Kees Kaldenbach is collaborating with a number of masseurs and masseuses in Amsterdam. He is also active as a masseur in the finest and most luxurious hotels.

I give this massage at various addresses: at my home address (see above), or atyour own home or at your hotel.

Lichaam & Ziel [Body & Soul] is registered at the Amsterdam Chamber of Commerce, number  3419 6612.



--- === --- news flash --- === --- 0 --- === --- news flash --- === ---

Psychological Bulletin, January 2004 highlights


Psychologists at Illinois University have researched effectiveness of massage therapy. A series of visits to the masseur may reduce depression, anxiety and pain. Even single visits may help alleviating anxiety and pain and may reduce hypertension and a high heart rate.

Psychological Bulletin, January 2004